roxanne

Recently, I start thinking about Roxanne, who lived with both of her parents in a big rusty mansion near the river. Who had only one sister, but many brothers. Who got sad because people said mean things about her family.
Roxanne lived in a whole different world than ours. In her world, the animals could speak and the flowers could sing. In her world, the water is orange, the grass is white and the sky is green. In her world, the men must stay at home and take care of the house and children, while the women work.
This girl was sad, because her brothers were getting bullied. Even her mother neglected her sons, because she was too busy.
At night, little Roxanne climbed to the roof and wondered if there is another world, where she and family could live happily together. Where she could play freely with her friends, girls and boys. Where girls and boys could be equal.

But litlle Roxanne won't stay little forever. She would grow up. And when she grows up, her thought of going to that other world would vanish. For she is a girl, and that world she's living in is the best for a girl.

skripsi #1

yampun belom laporan toh kalo gue lgi ngerjain skripsi? nah, ini gue laporan deh. dari minimal target konsul 8 kali, gue baru sekali. dan udah sebulan lebih belum ngasi revisi ke dosen. halah, ngerjain aja belum -__-
apalagi nih? bete ah kalo ngomongin skripsi, jd udahan dulu ya..ay mau bobo cepet. met pagi dan met tidur..

not now.

gue memulai 2014 ini dengan menyemburkan pernyataan ini kepada salah seorang teman gue:
"hal yang paling gue anggap beruntung sekarang adalah untuk suka dengan orang yang ga mungkin suka sama lo."
dan gue yakin, respon kalian setelah membaca ini akan sama persis sama dia:
"kenapa?"
well, kenapa?

gue ngga terlalu sering mengisahkan lovelife gue di sini. okay, except beberapa poem-slash-quote-slash-textes yang so obvious galaunya. tetapi gue pikir gue tidak menceritakan orang tersebut. ciri-ciri, hal yang membuat gue suka, kejadian berkesan sama dia...
intinya, gue pernah suka sama satu cowok. beberapa waktu lalu, akhir kami masing-masing mendapat konklusi perasaan masing-masing. i decided to move on.
kembali ke pertanyaan di atas: kenapa?
saat ini, perasaan bukanlah hal gue butuhkan. yang gue mau saat ini, duit, buat have fun. otak, untuk bisa menyelesaikan skripsi gue tahun ini dan cari beasiswa atau kerja atau simply untuk hidup sehari-hari. friends, untuk membangun jaringan, dan yang paling penting, untuk bisa have fun. singkatnya, gue tidak menyediakan tempat untuk perasaan. this year has started greatly, so i don't want to mess this year. i have a very important goal this year, and yet i have a good feeling about this year.
perasaan adalah beban yang ngga bisa gue tanggung untuk saat ini.  selain itu, perasaan memang tidak ada dalam planning gue untuk jangka waktu panjang ini. tetapi yang seperti kita tau, hidup ga berjalan sesuai yang kita rencanakan.
it doesn't mean i think that L-word doesn't exist. and it totally doesn't mean i don't like men or God help,  am a frigrid. i totally like men and healthy enough to have those healthy fantasy, if you know what i mean ;)
it's just...it's easier to live on, when i don't dwell on this thing. nonetheless, i believe true L is real. and i really want to find him, someday. but not now. not now. really, seriously, not now. a little crush there, a little fling here, would be greatly welcomed, but that draining, clingy feeling in the moment? no and no thanks.
well, i think i sound like a bitch here, but who cares? not me, though. not my real friends either. and my parents don't read this for sure.
good luck finding your L, though. when His time comes, you'll find their gaze are already exactly fixed on you, because they are also looking for you. you'll be together and just like the song quotes: a whole new world.

prost,
ael