one point .

"Ems, lo sendiri pernah bilang, hal tersulit yang penah lo lakui adalah saat harus pura-pura peduli seseorang yang nggak lo cintai. Menurut gue, itu belum apa-apa.
Lo minta gue untuk berpura-pura nggak peduli sama lo yang jelas-jelas gue cintai sepenuh hati. Rasanya sakit banget, Ems. Dan gue mulai capek menyalahkan diri gue karena itu."

Jo from Pillow Talk


tanya kenapa gw nulis gini .. fuhh .
malam ini, gw telah melewati satu titik . namun apakah itu titik balik atau titik yang akan meneruskan langkah gw yang ga menentu ini .. entahlah .

happy ending

hello evribodeeh !! aa gile lu ndro .. rasa2nya udah lama abis ga ngepost random gini . sekali2 boleh lah yuk yak yuk ;)
dan o dan .. gw ngepost dari hp !!! mm let's hope it's gonna work out . however .. shall we ?

as you know, sekarang gw mahasiswi .. dan gw lagi libur bok !! tapi libur ga ngapa2in juga sh . rencana mau les, gaje mau les apa dimana kapan sama siapa semalam berbuat apa .. bla . kerja juga mau kerja apa coba gw ? yah harepan gw sih gw bisa ngelesin anak orang lagi .. lumayan buat sebulan ini pan . tapi apa dikata .. sampe sekarang ga terealisasi tuh . gw cuma bisa berhibernasi bak serigala kutub*maklum, gw lagi naksir berat siberian husky .

gw juga menghabiskan sebagian besar waktu gw bermain lappy atau membaca . hell yeah, bukunya sih itu2 aja alias ga nambah2 . agak bosen sih,tapi lumayan lah buat mutilasi waktu .
dan kebanyakan bukunya itu novel . dan baru tadi siang gw nambah komik 6 biji . dan namanya juga bacaan ringan yang fiktif, temanya jelas ga jauh*(deket banget malah) sama cinta .

selama kehidupan gw yg fana ini, gw sering dapet julukan . kebanyakan ya dari sifat gw aja . contoh, kebo . yup, karena tidur adalah kegiatan favorit gw . waktu gw pernah ditanya kegiatan apa yang paling ga gw suka, gw mikirin kata ujian, dosen killer, kuliah, tugas, cucian .. tapi pas giliran gw jawab, yang gw ucapkan secara reflek adalah 'bangun tidur' .

gw juga sering dibilang tomboy*(itu akhirannya 'y' atau 'i' sih??) . ya entah karena gw yang benci pink, jarang pake rok, engga dandan rapi, suara berat, dll . apa lah . tapi yang jelas gw dibuang jauh2 dari kotak kategori feminin .
dan kalo dari 3B yang mesti diusung perempuan, alias beauty brain behaviour, gw paling sering dikaitkan dengan brain . yup, banyak yang bilang gw pinter . ga ngerti dari sudut mana juga sih .. tapi mungkin karena gw sangat sangat tidak cocok dengan 2 kategori lainnya . behaviour ? yah, itu debatable sih .. oke, gw ga bejat lah . jauh dari bejat . tapi beauty ??? well I'm not denying that I'm beautiful .. but let's say that I have many qualities, but beauty is not so into me .

dan omong2 ya mengenai behaviour ini, salah satu cap jelek dalam gw yang berhubungan karena sikap adalah sinis .. dalam hal cinta .
o come on fellas ..! "menurut kamu/lo, cinta itu apa?" if you are type who eat that shit out, well count me out .
kalo sekarang sih gw biasanya jawab "makan tuh cinta" sambil ketawa2 . tapi kalo dulu .. jawaban gw suka dianggap ekstrim dan kena lembaga sensor . contoh kasus, pernah dalam suatu ketika gw lagi sama beberapa orang .. di situ ada *ehem*gebetan*ehem dan *ehem*hts*ehem* gw . dan gw jawab dengan santainya "love is bullshit ." seinget gw, di situ hts gw tuh agak kaget dan dia serta temen2nya komen kalo gw ga sepantasnya ngomong kayak gitu karena cinta tuh bukan omong kosong . dan dia bilang kalo gw tuh belum tau aja rasanya cinta, dan gw harus ngebuka hati blabla ..

you don't know the story, and you don't know what I've been through .

you don't know me .

okay, gw memang sinis untuk feeling yang satu ini . gw lebih percaya kepada konsep 'love relationship' dibanding konsep 'love' itu sendiri . kalo 'love' hanya sekedar kata sifat atau kata benda .. gw pernah kok merasakan . gw pernah kok memiliki . tapi, cinta itu kan juga kata kerja .. dan gw ga punya cukup kepercayaan diri . apalagi mempercayai orang ya ? hhe ..

however .. gw tetap mempercayai happy ending . sekonyol apa pun adegan happy ending itu, gw tetep akan terharu dan bahagia sebahagia2nya . karena dari apa yang pernah gw rasakan dari cinta .. happy adalah elemen terbesar . dan kalau suatu saat gw mengalami happy ending, apa pun itu .. siapa tau di situ ada cinta yang menunggu buat gw . yah harapan yang muluk, memang .. tapi itu tetap suatu harapan (:

7 things i would do before married

there are 7 things i would do before married, in case i already have a fiancee . but i have to do it alone . well, that's what becca told me in order to make this list . so .. shall we ?

1. i would travel all around this world alone . is it way too much just-a-dream ? however, it's a lifetime dream of mine .

2. i would work out . i would shape my body fitly, so i can wear any wedding dress i want without being worried of looking weird in that oufit .

3. i would make money as much as possible . marriage will spend a lot of money, you know . since it's OUR wedding that i and he marry together, it makes us equal . i don't want to be a girl who only knows about mooching from her fiancee and family . if i do that, then what will i turn to be when i'm already his wife ?? ugh ..

4. i would make a short film of myself about my single life with my girlfriends . we'll spend crazy days out together since it shouldn't happen anymore after the marriage .

5. i would visit and spend time with my husband-to-be's family without him as much and as great as possible . they will be my family soon, and they are people who my lover love . i want to be part of them and make them happy to have me in their side .

6. i would do some secret research how to be good wife . ugh, there's no way i would tell my fiancee or people around me since it's totally embarrassing . no, it will be a secret . since i'm sure i never marry before and it will be my first .. i better prepare myself .

7. i would finish all my unfinished business . i would share forgiveness and as for forgiveness from people i hurt before . after the marriage, i'll become one with my husband . it's enough to bring this prefectless self of me, and i don't want him to worry about my past .


i guess that's it for now . well, since i'm only human .. it can't be changed in another second, you know . besides, i never think about it before . dude, i don't even be in dating mode on, so this list is so out of my mind .

i don't know why, my mood is pretty good today . and i find a pretty stunning blog(for me) and it inspires me for other post .
well, see ya !

13 things i would do for you if you are my boyfriend

i just did a blogwalking .. and finally i see an interesting post so i decided to make a similar one . and actually she posted 15 things, but since i like number 13, i'll just write down 13 things :p so, here we go ..

1. i would always be true and faithful to you . for me, trust is really above all in any relationship, so i'm pretty sure this point is no different in a dating relationship . i don't say i won't lie, but i can promise you that i always try my BEST to be honest with you . and i hope so do you .

2. i would let you place your friends or games before me, since i understand it very well that they are soo boy's world .

3. i would send you messages or just show you with an act that i really care and love you at random moments, as long as it comforts you .

4. i would try my best to cheer you up when you get problem but you don't wanna tell me . well i guess it's all i can do, since i don't really want to force you to do anything, yet i still want to be helpful .

5. i would massage you when you are tired, although i'm way mooooore tired than you .

6. i would search what you like, then slowly change into your type as long as i also feel okay . i don't really mind to do a little change, because i believe you and however, fashion do change :p

7. i would try my best to understand you hobby and your study or work, so i won't be completely clueless about that part of your life, even we can enjoy a conversation about it .

8. i would learn to cook . i like cooking, but all this time i hate receipt and prefer to do some experiment, and it used to be not so good . but for you, i'll learn to cook properly, so i can serve you some good meals .

9. i would let you lean on me so you can rest and sleep more comfortably .

10. i would wash your cloth, (not clothes) that you accidentally leave and i'm the one who find it, with my own hand . i don't want to take risk your cloth to be broken because of my washing machine .

11. i would treat you . well, if i have money, time and i'm the one who ask for it .. why not ? you're not my walking-bank, you know .

12. i would help you do your work . just anything for your future, for your own good sake .

13. i would study hard, learn new things and improve myself, so you won't be disappointed and even be proud to have me as your couple .


in fact, i don't have boyfriend right now . i'm totally single . well, it's not like i use this post to attract a guy .. lol it sooo not gonna happen :D i just want to write something sweet, since my blog is all about my random freaky thought . i really hope this post will be quite entertaining, yet couraging for you mates (:
o and the list above is list of things i would do for him in general issue and it's all about good things . i've already thought of some things i would for him in way more practice .. well, we'll see about it later .
you can make similar post, then show it to me . i'd really like to share these things as light and fun conversation between friends .

flamingo

hell yeah . minggu ini tidak terlalu baik untuk kesehatan dan kecantikan(?) saya . secara bisa dikatakan, banyak kejadian yang piiiiiiiiiiiip*sensor .

so now, what else should i say ? well maybe i can explain what 'flamingo' means ..



see the picture above ? i believe you should understand what flamingo is, even before you see the picture . yup, flamingo is a bird . usually people use a pair of fake flamingo as garden's decoration . why ? because their neck is so long, and a pair of this bird can perform 'love symbol . and above all that, they are pink .

see, if you know me pretty well .. you'll see that i hate pink . maybe hate is too hard, so let me say i dislike pink . and sometimes it turns to hate, especially when my sister and mother force me to use it . don't know why, my head get dizzy and my eyes sore when i see something pink, especially shocking pink . so you can say cause i can say .. flamingo is something i don't really like . but actually i like the name . flamingo . it sounds exotic and beautiful .
and it all starts because my friend, ryan . one day i got mad and i shout 'F!!!' instead of saying frontally 'F*CK!!!' . there were ryan and olive in that room . olive gave me silly grin as i walked in and ryan just sit and concentrate to his hp .
olive : why do you shout 'F'? what did that 'F' suppose to mean ?
me : dunno . you can replace it with any word started with 'F', i guess .
olive : f*ck .
me : there you go . o ryan .. how can you look so beautiful today ?
ryan : uh, what ?
ryan didn't know me coming until i said that . but it's pretty true . olive and i laughed at him together . ryan is our friend, one male friend that is so difficult to have since there is only 5% of male population in our major . and he is very beautiful . and since he is close with olive and charen, we always insult his gender .
ryan : what did ael just say ?
olive : she said you look beautiful today .
ryan : ugh, ael ..
me : hahaha
olive : err ryan .. ael just said 'f' when she entered this room . what do you think this 'f' suppose to mean ?
ryan : err .. fruity ? flamingo ?
olive : why did you think off all those girly thing ?? FRUITY ?? FLAMINGO ?? THAT PINK BIRD ?
olive & me : HUAHAHAHAHAHAHA*LOL

yeah, our ryan is so beautiful and feminine .. and he always thinks femininely either . but since that time, i got an idea . flamingo is pink, which i hate . and this flamingo also starts with 'f' . so instead of shouting 'F!!!' when i get mad .. i can say 'flamingo' calmly and none will notice the meaning .

and why do i write this ? dunno . maybe as an explanation for my 'other' blog, what that 'flamingo' word means . besides i have no other idea of what i should write here . yup, here .. because most of my ideas go into other place . i have another blog !! yey .. that 'other' blog will contain my days more honestly .. emotionally .. rationally .. rough yet sensitive #halah
i won't leave this blog, anyway . i'll still write my random story, no worries . that 'other' blog is only opened for me .. and unknown people .
so, see ya !!