what would happen when 19-years-old girlS talk about having baby

having baby.
wowowo tunggu dulu..jangan shocking soda gitu dulu dong bacanya..ini tuh tema perbincangan gw dengan beberapa kawan seperjuangan di kampus perjuangan. dan mengapa kami, para perempuan yang nengok berbarengan kalo ada yg manggil "oi, mblo!!", bisa terlibat dalam pembicaraan dengan topik seperti di atas? jadi gini ceritanya..

gw pernah cerita di blog ini, kalau ngga salah dengan judul postingan 'flamingo', tentang seorang teman gw yang bernama olyvia. yup, dia teman seangkatan gw. dan sekarang dia sedang hamil lancip (karena perut dia lancip, which looks a lot like a lemon), dengan dua janin perempuan di dalamnya. dia hamil anak kembar, saudara-saudara,
hal ini agak kontroversial. pertama, dia yang pertama hamil di angkatan kami. olyvia, si cewek tak disangka akan hamil duluan. pertama kali kenal dengan dia, gw merasa cukup absurd. bayangin gw baru dateng buru-buru karena takut telat masuk kelas, dan mendapati angkatan gw sedang berserakan di lorong karena kelasnya masi dikunci. dan gw sedang kumuh nan gembel (yup, gaya ngampus gw ngegembel. what for amat dandan di unj??), dan gw belum kenal dia secara baru masuk. catet ya, belum kenal. inget namanya aja belom. dan dia (rambut panjang lurus, wajah mungil, cakep, pake soft lens, rok, temennya yg deket waktu itu jilbaban) mendekati gw (waktu itu rambut gw masi sepinggang, ikal, tergerai awut2an as usual). lalu terlontarlah quote super absurd, "el, lo keren deh."
what the banget seseorang tak dikenal, lawan jenis, mendekati elo dan berkata lo keren?? yup, she's quite too-much-freak.

tapi lama kelamaan gw jadi agak deket. gatau juga kenapa, tapi mungkin karena faktor angkatan gw cuma 60an orang, dan dia orangnya super nyablak. hingga suatu pagi, dia bilang pengen ngomong sesuatu sama gw.
waktu itu kami ga sekelas. dan dia selalu ga dapet kesempatan buat ngomong, karena dia bilang diamau ngomong agak private. which is agak susah karena area buat ngomong private di kampus itu pedit medit. dan waktu makan siang, gw lagi ngumpul bareng temen gw, okti avola zelvy (inget mereka kan? ada dipostingan sebelumnya kok).
"guys, tadi gw dapet berita gede banget. tapi jangan bilang siapa2 ya", ucap okti, seinget gw.
"oo...apaan??" kepala mendekat. biasa, naluri kepo.
"dari olyv. dia...hamil."
gw jadi ga bisa fokus sepanjang sisa hari itu. hingga akhirnya kelas terakhir, kelas gabungan, dan gw ketemu olyv. gw tau dia mau ngomong ke gw habis kelas, dan gw stress mikirin reaksi apa yang harus gw kasi ke dia. gimana ya nanti dia ngasi tau gw? dia bukan nangis2 nyesel gitu kn nanti pas ngasitauin gw?? mateng deh gw kalo nangis. gw harus kasi reaksi apa nih?? cool? simpati? bijak? polos? asli pikiran gw ribet waktu itu. dan tau gimana olyv ngasi tau gw?

selesai kelas, dia nyamain langkah sama gw. dan gw mikir, ini dia saatnya. dan di saat gw lagi stress gimana nanti cara gw ngasi reaksi...dia ngomong.
"el, ada yang mau gw kasi tau." nah ini dia saatnya, pikir gw.
"apa lyv?", bales gw tenang. padahal dalam hati semaput.
dia ngambil tangan gw, dn dia taro di perut dia. gw bengong.
dia taro lagi tangan gw di perut dia, kali ini agak ngelus. gw masi bengong.
mungkin dia pikir, ih ael kok ga ngerti sih? maksudnya perut gw ada isinya..
mungkin yg lain mikir, oh ael pura2 ga ngerti...
padahal yang gw pikirin: serius ini anak ngasi tau orang hamil gini caranya? astagadragon... *speechless

bulan demi bulan berlalu. olyv akhirnya nikah. yang bikin geger nomor dia: sampe sekarang dia masuk.
dia itu udah hamil tua. kita semua kebat kebit dia bakal ngelahirin di kampus. walau ada bagian childish di otak gw berpikir itu akan super keren, tetep aja itu super berbahaya. dn dia masi dengan cueknya melenggang ke kampus. kalo lagi jalan di lorong, banyak orang, dia nyundul orang biar minggir pake perutnya. horor ga sih lo??? gawd, emosi.

dan itulah yang nyebabin kita punya topik ini berkali-kali. having kids.
mau punya anak berapa?
nanti mau dikasi les apa?
namanya siapa nanti?

panjang deh intinya. yah namanya juga ngobrol absurd di tengah jam kosong. dari ngeributin les apa yang tidak seharusnya dikasi keanak dan alasannya, seperti..
"gw mau ngelesin anak gw balet, biar badannya lentur."
"ih, jangan tau..."
"kenapa? bete tau gw, bales dendam. dulu pas smp sma gw sikap lilin aja ga bisa. pokoknya anak gw badannya hars bisa segala gerakan lentar lentur itu!"
"ihh jangan...kesian nanti rata.."
atau
"lesin renang gih!"
"jangan tau, nanti terlalu bidang!"
dll dengan berbagai alasan absurd..gw entah harus bahagia buat para calon suami nanti apa engga kalau punya calon istri padah kaya gini.

terus kita juga ngebahas nama yang tidak boleh diberikan pada anak. tau kan, biasanya ada orang tua yang ngasi nama anak pake tema? entah jenis2 batu seperti intan mutiara berlian...dan kami mencoba menemukan pengecualian yang bisa membahayakan anak kami ddengan resiko pelecehan nama baik.
1. pake seri bunga.
ini berbahaya. bisa berakibat nama terlalu dangdut, seperti dahlia. atau absurd, seperti sepatu dan bougenville. bayangkan, dia pengen jadi guru. terus nanti dia dipanggil muridnya, "bubugen, bubugen!"
jangan, terlalu absurd.
2. pake tempat lahir.
ini juga bahaya. ya sukur kalo lahir dia sydney, masi keren lah. lah kalo dia lahir, katakan saja, trenggalek? "oi, lek!", gitu kn kalo temennya manggil. terus ada cewek cakep ngeliatin, nanya ke temennya. "eh siapa tuh yang lewat? lucu juga...alex namanya?" terus temennya jawab dengan enteng, "oh, itu si trenggalek." si cewek cakep syok dan ilfeel seketika.
3. pake nama penyakit.
sebagus-bagusnya, sekerennya itu nama...jangan lah pake nama penyakit.inget, nama adalah doa. jadi, jangan namai anak kolera, meski kolera doesn't sound really bad. meski lo gatau bentukan penyakit itu kayak apa. pokoknya jangan.
4. terinspirasi dari film favorit.
di serial 'how i met your mother', lily dan marshall menamai bayi mereka 'marvin waitforit eriksen'. itu aneh guys, dan danger juga diaplikasikan. gini deh, buat teman2 seumur gw, dulu waktu kecil kita terinsipasi banget sama komik. kalo anak sekarang demen naruto, dulu tuh dragon ball. bahaya kan, kalo si hubby terinsiprasi dari film favoritnya, dan ngasi nama anak 'bagas kamekameha sitompul'.


yeah, ini cuma omongan absurd. buat olyv, semoga bayi lo lahir dengan selamat dan ga di unj. dan maaf untuk semua salah kata...
buat yang pas nunduk ngeliat emang agak rata, terus baru ngeh dulu disuuh renang terus...jangan kecil hati. jangan dendam pada orang tua kalian. terima diri kalian apa adanya, dan pakainya pakaian dengan model layer tumpuk di bagian dada.
buat yang namanya ternyata termasuk daftar di atas, ini cuma becandaan guys. jadi maaf ya, kamekameha.

regards!
xoxo

mid-year reportage

apa kabar dunia? kembali dengan saya, angela yang akan menemani anda untuk mengintip sekilas dari drama hidup belakangan ini. untuk singkat padatnya, mari segera kita simak kisah berikut ini.

setelah berhasil melewati semester genap dengan tingkat keselamatan yang masih di ujung tanduk, kini tibalah saya di tanjung hari libur. libur panjang yang berkhasiat meningkatkan semangat malas, memuaskan dahaga jalan-jalan dan menggemukkan yang dapat digemukkan. meski beban rapat dan rancangan acara masih menggayut, saya mencoba tetap optimis dan percaya diri ketika melangkah.

sayangnya, jiwa pelajar yang masih menempel bak jerawat di wajah remaja awal pubertas, berhasil mempengaruhi saya untuk naik kapan kecil berikutnya. ya, kapal kecil yang akan berlayar sekitar sebulan, mengelilingi daerah yng masih tak terjamah. kapal kecil tersebut bernama semester pendek.

selama satu bulan, saya terombang-ambing di lautan luas, di atas ayunan kapal semester pendek. mungkin pengaruh tiket kelas geladak, suasana yang saya rasakan luar biasa membosankan dan sangat omong kosong. tetapi mungkin juga hal itu disebabkan telinga saya yang sudah tertusuk panah cinta dewa penjaga tanjung hari libur. hidup rasa malas!

dan laporan selanjutnya, mengenai hutan sulur-sulur hitam di puncak dari tubuh manusia. hutan sulur hitam ini telah dibiarkan lebih dari setahun, sehingga ia tumbuh dengan liar. diduga karena kekurangan asupan nutrisi, sulur hitam ini mengalami kerontokan hebat dan warna yang semakin memerah.

setelah pertimbangan yang tidak terlalu masak, sulur hitam ini mengalami pembonsaian secara besar-besaran. hal ini dilakukan untuk menggenapi mitos mengenai patah hati. hasil akhir kemudian menunjukkan, sulur hitam yang kemudian diketahui sebagai rambut ini, menjadi model rambut terpendek sang empunya dalam lebih dari 5 tahun terakhir ini.

berita dukacita juga terdengar, atas wafatnya bapak gembala. hal ini tentu saja menyebabkan kesedihan dan rasa kehilangan yang mendalam. oleh karena itu marilah sejenak kita tundukkan kepala dan berdoa, semoga keluarga, rekan dan sahabat yang ditinggalkan beroleh kekuatan.

kabar lainnya adalah terjadinya aktivitas melebihi batas normal pada sistem limbik di daerah otak. aktivitas tinggi pada bagian otak ini telah menyebabkan banyaknya perubahan, baik disadari maupun tidak disadari, langsung maupun tidak langsung. semoga kerja otak bagian lain tidak terganggu dan masih tetap dapat mengendalikan diri untuk bersikap wajar dan tenang.

demikianlah sekilas laporan drama hidup yang bertele-tele dan tidak menarik tersebut. atas perhatiannya untuk tidak terlalu memperhatikan blog ini, saya ucapkan terima kasih banyak. sampai jumpa pada liputan drama kehidupan berikutnya.

regards,

ael.

God and me

i just had a retret with my church fellow. the theme of the retret is "your life, your choice?". we learned that we have our own free will, to choose which path we would take, which decision we would make. that is essential. we do have greater power above us, but He kindly gives us free will.

by hearing the preach, i've come to an understanding, that what love God is. He is the loveliest lover ever. we all already know, that we love God, because He loves us first. and unlike we, human, His love would never and could never change, because it is perfect already.

although His love is prefect already, although He loves us so much until He died to save us from our own mistake, He is still willing to let us have and use our own will. i mean, what kind of love is that?

that is kind of love, that although you have free will, you'll throw it away, and try your best to be with that love as long as possible, or in one word, forever.
that is kind of love, you'll be amazed, grateful of, no matter how long you've been with that love.

as a girl, i used to dream that one day i'll have my own love story. and my love story will be more beautiful than any romance in this world. absolutely more that romeo and juliet( i never, never understand why romeo and juliet is love story. they died stupidly, for all God's sake), cinderella(please don't let me go through poverty, slavery, cruel step-familyhood just to meet my love one. please), rapunzel(actually it's kinda cute, but i think i'll stress my life out for having and caring such long hair) or whoever else. i'm desperate to find that.


but all those looking and desperate are useless. why? well, it's actually in front of me all the time. the love story between God and me, that is more than enough.

the ladies

i don't think it's time to post the song yet. and the retret hasn't even begun yet, so i can't write about it. so, what should we do now?
i'll just tell you about my friends. my dearest friends from campus, the 3 closest to me. maybe they don't really know my past, how my personality became like this, and so on. but they could understand really well what i need, and i'm happy to meet such friends. and here they are, the ladies who just bring some sweet(and sour) spring to my life..
1. zelvy maysari
she is the youngest one, yet the boldest. we used to follow what she wants, like where we will have lunch, where we will hang out, and so on. we used to tease her, because she 's easy to trust what we said. most of all time she is bossy and loud, but sometimes she could act really cute and childish, so you'll just say yes to what she said.

2. okti halimurti
she is a girl with many qualities and awesome personality. she's easygoing, caring, shopaholic and just crazy. until now, she is the perfect person to be told about my feeling and things, especially because she doesn't get disappointed easily when i don't tell her much, yet still be excited to hear more. it's just sometimes she got too absorbed in this where-can-i-be-someone's-true-princess drama.

3. avolakitawsara dini lesa
she is woman, the oldest, the shortest, the closest one with me. or so i think. i usually don't hide a thing with her, because somehow i know she'll understand and don't give a damn. that's why i really like to be with her, because how her thought goes one, and how it feels similar with mine.

i had written down a similar post long time ago, but i never posted it. and here i am, creating a similar one, but with much simpler mode. i feel sorry for my future self and them who ever see this post, if this post couldn't give many important facts. one thing for sure, i'm really thankful and grateful to have them in my life, and i do hope our friendship will be such long lasting and good one.
let's have an awesome life.


regards,
ael.

the 8th.

how are you guys? i've been pretty much well. i didn't just sleep all day long, but take a walk and hang out with my friends. it's draining my pocket, my purse, my wallet, everything that contains money, and my body, yet my mind, but i keep doing it. did my last post leave you some hints? yeah, i'm busying myself.

..
..
..

honestly, i don't really know what to write here. i guess i suppose to tell you some things i've been doing recently, but i don't really pay attention, so my memory of those things aren't so good. and i hate writing something that i don't completely remember. well, i got into sp class, it only takes a month, twice a week. oh, and the retret my church has been working on, will be done this week. i guess that will be posted in our next meeting. oh, and i will also post a song, that pretty much reflect what i'm doing right now.

ain't i organized? hhe..
well, i've seen i didn't post much lately. and i've made self promise, to write 9 more posts here. and with this one, i'll have 7 to go. you see why i make 9-posts-more promise, right? well, i just like number 9.

i guess here i will stop talking. see you on another post. stay healthy!


regards,
ela.

i'd like to hide. go. leave.

i feel like it's time for us to end this.
but, is there us?
no.
it's always you and i,
it was never us,
it is never us.

the birthday sister

today is my sister's birthday. so, this post will be about her.
she is my only sibling, she is female and she is older than me. today, she is 23 years old*if I don't mistake it. her name is abigail thyca paruntung. her nickname is 'gai' for family and churchmates, 'bigel' for schoolmates and collages, and 'bee' or 'biga' for me.
she study management, yet she has a part time job as a teacher in a pre school. yeah, she likes children and teaching them, which totally different from me.

yesterday, I've prepared a present for her. the present consists of a blouse, a purple lollipop, and three pairs of earrings. I wrapped it in a box with golden base and purple bow. have I told you that her favourite colour is purple?
I was kinda unsure when I should give this present to her. plan a is to just put it beside her pillow while she was asleep. plan b is to give the present right away at 00.01. but since the timing for plan b is already gone, let's just go with plan a. however, my class start later, so I think she will find the present when I am still in the house. that's not what I really want, because I want it to be a surprise, and I prefer to not be there when she saw it. however, I've put the present in her bag, and hope she won't know it is there before I go away. let's just hope I wake up in time and don't forget to put the present inside her bag secretly.

so, bee, if you see this, you'll know that it's purely from me and I already prepare it. I hope it will be useful for you, and you are really grateful when you use it. I wish you all the best for now until forever. Let God bless you abundantly and be with you in every time of your life. have a wonderful day, year, life and good luck!

happy birthday, bee (:



your younger sister

sorry, i've lied..

on this night, I ask myself, "to whom do I lie?"
"well", answer myself, "to me."

and to every other people, who asked about you and me. and also to those, who just stated out their thoughts on us. I'm sorry, I did tell some of my friends. I've maintained to only tell few hints, but sometimes they catch up too fast, and then they come out with their own conclusions. frankly, although their statements weren't close yet, their confidence were already built up. I hope that they'll be quiet..but I don't really know how long they can last to endure it.

so, yeah. my heart still goes for you. what is the point of answering all their same question? what is the point of confessing my feelings to the world? even if it was to my own self, what is the point of telling it again and again??
it isn't to you.
and I don't have any strength left to say it to you.
since the beginning, I don't have any hope to be able to see your face and tell you.

well..live happily and healthily. I've experienced it before, so I can say it's easier to give up on you when I can see you live happily. since now, I'll try much harder and won't lower my guard anymore.

damn..
I miss you.

a random post about something random in this random blog.

akhir2 ini lumayan jumlah temen gw yang bikin blog. dan waktu gw tanya apa blog mereka, jawaban yg sangat standar gw terima..
"blabla.blogspot/wordpress/tumblr/dll.com. ah blog gw mah ga ada apa2nya. gw baru bikin."
dan reaksi pertama gw biasanya sedikit mengerutkan dahi, tetapi yasudah. yah, gw ngerti sih jawaban begitu. hey, kita di posisi yg sama lah. gw tau persis lo bukan traveler, atau kritikus makanan atau film, atau apalah. jadi, isi blog kita*(iya, kita. lo dan gw.) sama lah..pasti seputar hidup masing2.

ada masa2, dimana gw terdorong untuk membaca postingan yg lama. di saat seperti itu, gw ingat dengan alasan gw ngeblog dan terus mempertahankannya.
gw memang ga terlalu peduli komen di blog gw, bahkan gw pikir lebih baik tdk usah sama sekali..karena komen dapat membuat orang lain merasa blog itu ditujukan utk seseorang..apalagi kalo orang lain itu tidak kenal dengan di pemberi komen. so, gw lebih memilih menerima komen ketika sedang mengobrol, baik lisan maupun chat..

blog ini adalah track record pemikiran gw yg absurd. and it's censored already. so it's safe for you to ask what you want to ask, and give what you want to give. yg berhasil lolos sensor jg masi agak jelas, sehingga otak gw bisa paham file kejadian mana yg harus diputar kembali. gw pikir ini bagus, berbagi pikiran baik dg orang lain dan diri sendiri.

and self, the scenes that happen in your life right now are..
a. you just got your position in psdm bem jbj unj as the coordinator. you even have to interview those people, but you can't get it right. well, just keep fighting. I'm sorry for you but congrats. mind it, responsibility is greatly required.

b. lo jg jadi sie acara di ret2 pemuda remaja. let's finish all the tasks fast and perfectly, before you're getting really busy with anything else*(read:with campus thingy). God bless us (:

c. pasangan fenomenal. well, temen yg ga bener atau ga baik masi bisa ditolerir. tetapi teman yg bego..itu terlalu sulit.
err..bego di sini bukan dalam artian mendapat nilai jelek ketika ujian atau sesuatu seperti itu. dan gw sampai menggunakan kata bego, karena perbuatannya sudah melebihi tahap tidak pintar. perbuatannya sudah sampai di tahap bego.
however..manner is required. so, pull yourself back together, and be professional.

what else? yeah, mocha florentine starbucks is awesome. go and drink more of it.

fin.

a story of valentine

it's february. it's the valentine's month. a month, which is famous for the love couple.
but unfortunately..it's not love story.

the beginning of this month might seem smooth. day by day, and I saw love everywhere. the couples looked so sweet together. even I felt good inside.

but as it comes closer to the end, the shell cracks opened. the scene you see, isn't written as love story. it's designed by the universe, to play fool on us.
because behind those sweet words, lay painful silence. behind those smiling face, tears drop rolling down the cheek. behind those hopes I keep for valentine, my heart bleeds and breaks apart.

well..
it really is love story.
it just isn't the happy one.

helpless romantic?

gatau kenapa tergerak untuk denger playlist L.O.V.E di hp gw..ya sesuai judulnya, isi lagu2 di playlist gw ya lagu2 yang so sweet, happy lovey dovey tale lah..
terus pikiran gw melayang, secara belum ngantuk..dan terpikir untuk buat post iseng ini :D
intinya sih, postingan kali ini adegan2 yang terlintas di benak gw, sesuai dengan lagu yang lagi mengalun..
so..shall we?

1. spend my life with you
adegan yang gw bayangin, inspired dari adegan di film mr. and mrs. smith. inget adegan saat pagi setelah mereka tembak2an super seru paginya? no dialogue needed, just slow motion mode. senyum lepas, gerakan2 bahagia yang kecil..itu semua udah pas untuk gambarin, bahwa hidup gw bahagia, sempurna, bersama lo.

2. make you feel my love
adegan: latar belakangnya adalah jendela super besar yang memamerkan suatu padang rumput, terus di padang rumput itu ada pohon besar di tengahnya. karena lagi musim gugur, dan saat itu sudah mau sore, angin lagi berhembus pelan, menerbangkan helai2 daun yang berguguran..
dan gw akan menyanyikan lagu ini, sambil main piano, menatap lo yang berada di depan gw dan mendengarkan gw tentunya. awalnya gw akan masih agak malu-malu, kita ketawa kecil karena ini agak konyol dan ga nyangka gw bisa secheesy ini..tapi gw akan sungguh menyanyikannya, sampai lo tau, this unperfect me really loves you, and really want to make you happy to be with me.

3. you've fallen for me
yang ini akan agak berbeda, karena yang menyanyi adalah lo :D
dan seperti di filmnya, lo juga akan memainkan gitar..dan gw ga bisa berhenti tersenyum lebar, karena lagu ini kita banget.hhe..

4. (gada judulnya)
gw gatau ini judulnya apa. yang pasti penyanyinya brian mcknight. lagunya so sweet, setipe sama spend my life with you..kayaknya judulnya I will still in love with you, soalnya itu yg diulang2.
adegan yang gw bayangkan adalah saat perayaan ulang tahun pernikahan, atau saat pertunangan, pokoknya satu momen khusus..di mana kita bisa dansa romantis.dan di tengah lantai dansa itu, gw dan lo sedang berdansa diiringi lagu ini.I look amazingly beautiful, not only because I wear that awesome evening gown, but because of the girl's happiness for being in love.


ngeeeeeeennnnngggg..
gw jadi malu sendiri nulis2 beginian, jadi cukup segini dulu deh. hhe :D
mungkin masing2 lagu nanti akan ada postingannya sendiri..karena so far gw lagi suka dengan lagu2 ini (: oia for information, lagu pertama penyanyinya tamia ft. eric benet. lagu kedua adele, dan yang ketiga jung yong hwa, si vokalis slash leader cn blue, dan ini ost filmnya, heartstring.
mm I guess I better go to sleep right now..yah, semoga playlist gw kali ini bisa menghapus mimpi perusak tadi siang..amin!

ciao ;)

daftar lagu galau

akhirnya o akhirnya...gw membuat daftar ini juga. seharusnya, ini sudah gw kerjakan dari kapan tahu, kan janjian mau ngepost bareng si becca, tetapi waktu itu gw maunya dalam bahasa inggris. dan, kata 'galau' ini jadi dilema, karena ga dapet bahasa inggris yang sreg. ada sih 'hubbub', tapi kata bulenya langsung, 'hubbub' itu lebih ke arah ribut2 ricuh gimana gitu...which is jauh dari bayangan gw mengenai kata 'galau' -_________-


eins.
All We'd Ever Need by Lady Antebellum

But if you're happy I'll get through somehow
But the truth is that I've been screaming out

zwei.
Symphonie by Silbermond

Denn es ist Zeit
Sich ein zu gestehn dass es nicht geht
Es gibt nichts mehr zu reden denn wenn es regnet
Ist es besser aufzugeben

drei.
Simfoni Hitam by Sherina

Tlah kunyanyikan alunan-alunan senduku
Tlah kubisikkan cerita-cerita gelapku
Tlah kuabaikan mimpi-mimpi dan ambisiku
Tapi mengapa ku tak kan bisa sentuh hatimu

vier.
Wish You Were Here by Avril Lavigne

And I remember all those crazy things you've said
You left them running through my head
You're always there, you're everywhere
But right now I wish you were here

fünf.
Officially Missing You by Tamia

I thought that from this heartache I could escape
But I fronted long enough to know
There ain't no way
And today I'm officially missing you

sechs.
Someday by IU

gwaenchanheul georago nae seuseuroreul wirohamyeo beotineun
haruharuga nal jogeumssik duryeopge mandeulgo
nareul mideurago malhamyeonseodo mitji motaneun naneun
ije eolmana deo orae beotil su isseulji moreugesseoyo

sieben.
Adagio by Lara Fabian

Non so dove trovarti
Non so come cercarti
Ma sento una voce che
Nel vento parla di te
Quest'anima senza cuore
Aspetta te
Adagio

acht.
Now You Know by Hillary Duff

Maybe this is bold
But I'm hoping you'll stay for a happy ending

neun.
Love Alone by Miss A

If it's an illusion I need you to tell me now
No room for confusion I need you to let it out

ini salah satu postingan gw yang paling lama gw tunda, yang sebenernya bahkan sudah gw pikirkan sebelum si becca minta gw bikin postingan ini. dan mungkin sebenernya ada lagu2 lain yang mau gw masukin di sini tapi tidak jadi, dan ada juga lagu di sini yang sebenernya ga terlalu gw masukin. sebenernya gw gamau bikin berurutan..tapi setelah jadi, gw tergerak untuk edit2 dikit, dan sepertinya jadi berurutan.

me and maturity

i was reading a book, titled antologi rasa, when i found an interesting quote. later, i tweeted that quote.

as we grow up, we learn that even one person that wasn't supposed to ever let us down, probably will.

at that time, i agreed 101% with that quote. i kept it well, and made it one of my strongest base. well, i've been stuck in a silly point, where i thought i wasn't mature enough. but deep inside my head, i believed i was nowhere close to immaturity. i believed i just found out a weakness point, and i was ready to change it and be a better person. closer to maturity.

bullshit.

more knowledges would bring you closer to the truth. the truth, that you know nothing at all.
so, allow me change the quote..

as time goes by, we learn that even one person that we won't ever let down, probably will get knocked out hardest by our own self.

all this time, my thought was firm. maturity is gained, when you learn to suit yourself in any condition, without losing yourself. and when your maturity level, experience and knowledge are enough, you'll learn to control the situation, and don't have to suit yourself anymore, because it will be the one who tries to suit you.

but it isn't that easy, isn't it?

if all i have to do is suit myself to people who change, without losing myself...well, no offense, but i'm pretty good at it. sometimes i can't take it, but i still got it.
but, well..

i change too. it's myself i'm talking about. what, should i get myself used to my own self?
i really envy the people who can answer easily what the wanna do in the future. i envy people who can tell themselves comfortably. every time i do that, i can't stop myself from wondering is that really true?

it's a shame, but i'm cowardly pessimist about understanding my own self. how can i get myself used to myself?
once, my friend suggested me to take psychology major. which made me laughed my ass, because it was so silly. if he was only joking, it was relieving. but if he wasn't..it scared me to death. what have i done, to make him thought so? i really had troubles, that aren't easy to be solved. was i really that good in keeping those troubles away? or was he seeing it crystal clear, and that was the reason he asked me to take psychology? what??


i really don't know how to solve it. i really don't know what i wanna do next. and i don't know whether i want to know or not. maturity...
what is that?

especially for you

i wanna let you know what I was going through
all the time we were apart
i thought of you
you were in my heart
my love never changed
i still feel the same

in a rush

crap, i finally really get the feeling that i'm a student in univ. back when i'm still at high school or lower, i used to imagine things like coming late and sneaking in to class, sitting in the back just to continue my sleeping. or rush and beg the professor and God to accept my late assignment. meet new friends, talk about something smart, attend a wedding of m classmate.. and finally have my bachelor degree.
in fact, it doesn't happen. i can't just sneak in to class when i'm late, because the the classroom is so small and the fact we're only about 20 persons make the professor immediately realize your late coming and screw you straightly. i do meet new friends and, but we used to not do the 'smart talk'. i join an organization and i was like, crap, this whole thing is shit. the point is i'm disappointed but hell, like i care enough.
but finally today, i got the feeling of rushing to give away the late assignment. if you read the previous post, that's the same assignment that made me feel the rush. so i just finished m bath, even i only got towel wrapped up my body, when my friend called me and screamed out to tell me to collect the assignment right now. i was like, good God, and i told her to send me her email so i could send my assignment to her. then she could print it out and hand it to the professor, because she was already at univ. so i ran upstairs, turned on the laptop and sent it as fast as i can. as i was waiting for her response, she told me to call the professor first. actually i didn't think it was a good idea, but after a while i decided to do that. so i called the professor and when she knew that i wasn't at univ yet and, she told me to send the assignment direct to her email. so i did it, without believing it, how could it be so easy like this? and finally when i was done, i confirmed it to her and she only said 'ok', without anything else. i was so relieved. and on that very time, i realized...i still only had towel on my body.

it was really a scene to remember. well, no worries, i have my clothes on right now ;p

review film 2011

please ampuni pengetikan di post ini yang sepertinya agak mengacuhkan huruf 'y'..asli, gw tidak bermaksud begitu. sepertinya tuts huruf itu sedang agak ngambek slash ngadat, jadi mesti ditekan beberapa kali biar muncul. a kalo gw baik dan ngeliat, pasti gw usahain huruf itu tetep ada. tapi secara ini pagi, kemungkinan gw khilaf dan melewatkannya itu selalu ada..

anyway, merry new year everyone. dan di post ini, gw akan ngepost tentang film yang keluar di tahun 2011 dan sedikit ulasannya. gw juga tidak membagi film ini ke dalam segmen2 seperti best film, worst film, dkk..hanya sebatas yang gw inget (:

so...
shall we?

1. harry potter and the deathly hallows - part 2


film ini diawali dengan perencanaan sekaligus pembobolan trio harry-hermione-ron ke bank gringotts demi mencari hocrux. mereka berhasil kabur dan kemudian menuju ke hogwarts untuk mencari hocrux lainnya. di hogwarts, perang terbuka pun terjadi antara pengikut woldemort dan pendukung harry. akhirna setelah semua hocrux dimusnahkan, harry berhasil mengalahkan voldemort.
however, secara keseluruhan film sebenarnya bisa dikatakan gw agak kecewa. but no offense, i used to be disappointed with harry potter movie :p
gw menampilkan snape di sini..karena memang dia tokoh favorit gw di film ini. bahkan adegan dialah yang paling gw tunggu, melebihi adegan kekalahan voldemort. quote favorit gw sepanjang masa, dari semua jenis film dan buku, adanya juga di film ini (: pokoknya i love snape deh.
yah, gw menonton film ini dengan penuh perasaan sedih. bukan karena jalan cerita tapi apa..tetapi karena ini film terakhir harry potter. hiks..

2. rio


film ini bercerita tentang pelarian sepasang 2 ekor burung yang sudah hampir punah dari pencuri. dalam pelarian itu mereka mengelilingi kota rio de janeiro, bertemu teman2 baru, dan saling jatuh cinta.
tokoh favorit gw di sini adalah nico, si burung kecil kuning dengan topi tutup botol. scene favorit saat nico menyanyikan lagu fly love. gw langsung suka banget dengan lagu itu :D

3. the twilight saga : breaking dawn - part 1


film ini bercerita tentang pernikahan bella dan edward, dan berlanjut ke bulan madu yang 'rusuh'. sayangnya bulan madu itu terpaksa berhenti karena kehamilan bella. bella mempertahankan bayinya walau ia sekarat dan itu memancing perang dengan werewolf. karena membela bella, jacob melepaskan diri dari kawanan. akhirnya bella melahirkan juga anaknya, dan kemudian diselamatkan oleh racun edward. bella pun menjadi vampir.
adegan favorit saat tubuh bella pulih dan menjadi vampir. acungin semua jari(yang mirip jempol) buat visual effectnya. keren abis!

4. transformers : dark of the moon


film ini bercerita tentang usaha sentinel yang dibantu decepticon untuk menguasai bumi dan memulihkan cybertron. usahanya digagalkan oleh optimus prime dkk, sam witwicky dan para tentara amerika lainnya.
yang pertama gw sorot, adalah cewek baru witwicky. no offense, gw jauuuh lebih suka sama megan fox daripada doi. baik secara tampang, akting dan chemistry di film. however, gw suka jalan ceritanya. bagian sedih dan mengharukannya entah kenapa 'ngena'. akting si labeouf bagus lah, dia bener2 jadi terkesan pemuda amerika biasa, bukan artis hollywood. menurut gw, susah loh itu. banak banget film dengan pemain oke dan akting super keren, tetapi tetep ngebawa 'aura' artis..ngerti ga? begitulah.

5. x-men : first class


film ini mengisahkan para tokoh x-men, jauh saat mereka masih muda. sulit disangka si ganteng mr.tumnus akan jadi botak dan sipit gitu pas tua. jadi ini kisah tentang usaha para mutan dalam mengalahkan mutan jahat, yang ingin memancing perang antara amerika dan rusia. kisah ini diakhiri dengan runtuhna persahabatan yang sempat terjalin antara profesor x dan magneto.
gw sukaaa banget sama si pemeran charles xavier. manis bener..sayang pasangannya kurang cantik. untung mereka ga jadian :p

6. friends with benefits


film ini bercerita tentang dylan yang pindah ke new york dan bertemu dengan jamie. mereka berteman baik, sampai akhirna pun menjadi teman seks. pertemanan seks ini pun berakhir dengan keduanya yang saling jatuh cinta.
film ini sering dibandingkan dengan no strings attached yang dirilis duluan pada tahun yang sama. tentu saja film ini menang! memang ini bukan film yang masuk kategori bagus banget, tetapi film ini sangat laak ditonton para penyuka film bergenre komedi romantis yang berkualitas. chemistry antar pemain oke, adegan vulgarnya juga lebih condong ke lucu, jadi tidak membuat orang jengah melihatnya. gosipnya, mila kunis dan justin timberlake cinlok loh di film ini hhi ;)

7. fast and furious 5


kali ini brian, dom, dkk berbuat ulah di rio de janeiro. lebih jauh, mereka mencari gara2 dengan penguasa kota rio, reyes, sementara mereka dikejar2 oleh tim fbi. akhirnya, tim fbi dan dom bersatu, merampok duit reyes dari kantor polisi. tentu saja perampokan berhasil sukses, dan mereka semua menjalani kehidupan mewah di negara2 tanpa perjanjian ekstradisi.
filmnya keren, btw. gw belum nonton semua seri fast furious secara komplit, jadi ga bisa membanding2kan.

8. easy a


olive, seorang siswi 'biasa', terpaksa mengarang cerita bohong bahwa ia sudah pernah berbuat seks. sialnya, cerita didengar orang lain dan disebarluaskan. ia pun mendapat cap perempuan nakal. karena kesal akan semua gosip, ia benar2 merubah dirinya menjadi nakal. namun akhirnya ia menghentikan semua sandiwara itu lewat pengakuan di youtube berkat cowok cinta pertamanya.
gw suka film ini!! hha :D gw bener2 feminist abis..tapi gw suka! seorang cewek ang akhirnya membuktikan diri setelah dicap macem2..dan sempat kembali 'bertobat' sebelum terlambat. smurf it :D

9. catatan harian si boy


film ini bercerita tentang persahabatan satria dengan temen2 kerjanya di bengkel. kemudian dia bertemu dengan natasha, dan berdua mereka mencari tau pemilik dari sebuah buku harian tua untuk ibunya natasha yang sedang sakit. konflik muncul karena pacar natasha yang cemburu dengan boy dan menghancurkan bengkel. pada akhirnya ditemukan pemilik buku harian, boy.
filmnya bagus, walau gw sejujurnya kurang suka dengan keberadaan carissa putri. satu film indonesia yg berhasil membuktikan kesuksesan tanpa embel2 seks atau horor slash komedi.

masih ada film2 lain, dan gw juga senang hati menulis..tetapi sudah terlalu pagi, kawan. apalagi gw masih belum mengerjakan tugas, padahal akan dikumpulkan beberapa jam lagi. dan gw juga belum tidur. so..kalau sempat akan gw lanjutkan. atau kalau tidak, ada cerita lain. udah ada sih ide2, tapi belum kesampaian aja. :D

so..
see ya (: