one less friend

Can I say something bad?

I kind of don't really want to be friends with you anymore.
It's not you, it's me.
It's just...I'm bored to be your friends. I'm bored to be around you, to talk with you, to hang out with you, etc.
You always choose the most boring response I ever imagined in my head. Which is understandable and normal thing for people, but you see, I actually already had expectations on you.
It turned out you didn't meet it and I feel bored being with you.

So, really it's my fault.
Since it happened this way...Can we stop being friends?


Funny I asked this way since you don't even really fit my friend qualification.
Then, it's settled. Nice knowing you, acquaintance.

excerpt.

"There were times when I desperately needed you. There were times when I had this crazy feeling to abandon everything and pursued you once more. But what could I do? What can we do now, when we are already at this point?"

I caught my breathe. No, don't say it. Don't even think about it, even when it's too late already. Those what-ifs, those lingering thoughts already sneaked in and poisoned my mind with false hope and sickeningly sweet memories.

"Get a grip. Don't waste what you have by lingering on what we used to have. It's past its due date."

I turned on my heel and marched through the door.

Why does it always turn to be this way?

Once again I show you my back.

Once again I hide these tears from you.

just a cringey excerpt i just found.

when did i write this anyway?? eww.