God and me

i just had a retret with my church fellow. the theme of the retret is "your life, your choice?". we learned that we have our own free will, to choose which path we would take, which decision we would make. that is essential. we do have greater power above us, but He kindly gives us free will.

by hearing the preach, i've come to an understanding, that what love God is. He is the loveliest lover ever. we all already know, that we love God, because He loves us first. and unlike we, human, His love would never and could never change, because it is perfect already.

although His love is prefect already, although He loves us so much until He died to save us from our own mistake, He is still willing to let us have and use our own will. i mean, what kind of love is that?

that is kind of love, that although you have free will, you'll throw it away, and try your best to be with that love as long as possible, or in one word, forever.
that is kind of love, you'll be amazed, grateful of, no matter how long you've been with that love.

as a girl, i used to dream that one day i'll have my own love story. and my love story will be more beautiful than any romance in this world. absolutely more that romeo and juliet( i never, never understand why romeo and juliet is love story. they died stupidly, for all God's sake), cinderella(please don't let me go through poverty, slavery, cruel step-familyhood just to meet my love one. please), rapunzel(actually it's kinda cute, but i think i'll stress my life out for having and caring such long hair) or whoever else. i'm desperate to find that.


but all those looking and desperate are useless. why? well, it's actually in front of me all the time. the love story between God and me, that is more than enough.

the ladies

i don't think it's time to post the song yet. and the retret hasn't even begun yet, so i can't write about it. so, what should we do now?
i'll just tell you about my friends. my dearest friends from campus, the 3 closest to me. maybe they don't really know my past, how my personality became like this, and so on. but they could understand really well what i need, and i'm happy to meet such friends. and here they are, the ladies who just bring some sweet(and sour) spring to my life..
1. zelvy maysari
she is the youngest one, yet the boldest. we used to follow what she wants, like where we will have lunch, where we will hang out, and so on. we used to tease her, because she 's easy to trust what we said. most of all time she is bossy and loud, but sometimes she could act really cute and childish, so you'll just say yes to what she said.

2. okti halimurti
she is a girl with many qualities and awesome personality. she's easygoing, caring, shopaholic and just crazy. until now, she is the perfect person to be told about my feeling and things, especially because she doesn't get disappointed easily when i don't tell her much, yet still be excited to hear more. it's just sometimes she got too absorbed in this where-can-i-be-someone's-true-princess drama.

3. avolakitawsara dini lesa
she is woman, the oldest, the shortest, the closest one with me. or so i think. i usually don't hide a thing with her, because somehow i know she'll understand and don't give a damn. that's why i really like to be with her, because how her thought goes one, and how it feels similar with mine.

i had written down a similar post long time ago, but i never posted it. and here i am, creating a similar one, but with much simpler mode. i feel sorry for my future self and them who ever see this post, if this post couldn't give many important facts. one thing for sure, i'm really thankful and grateful to have them in my life, and i do hope our friendship will be such long lasting and good one.
let's have an awesome life.


regards,
ael.

the 8th.

how are you guys? i've been pretty much well. i didn't just sleep all day long, but take a walk and hang out with my friends. it's draining my pocket, my purse, my wallet, everything that contains money, and my body, yet my mind, but i keep doing it. did my last post leave you some hints? yeah, i'm busying myself.

..
..
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honestly, i don't really know what to write here. i guess i suppose to tell you some things i've been doing recently, but i don't really pay attention, so my memory of those things aren't so good. and i hate writing something that i don't completely remember. well, i got into sp class, it only takes a month, twice a week. oh, and the retret my church has been working on, will be done this week. i guess that will be posted in our next meeting. oh, and i will also post a song, that pretty much reflect what i'm doing right now.

ain't i organized? hhe..
well, i've seen i didn't post much lately. and i've made self promise, to write 9 more posts here. and with this one, i'll have 7 to go. you see why i make 9-posts-more promise, right? well, i just like number 9.

i guess here i will stop talking. see you on another post. stay healthy!


regards,
ela.

i'd like to hide. go. leave.

i feel like it's time for us to end this.
but, is there us?
no.
it's always you and i,
it was never us,
it is never us.