I thought that we are true friends. We might be not good
friends, but at least we are close to each other. We might not meet frequently,
not talk to each other frequently, but we would always be there once we want
it.
At least I thought we were. But, were we?
Last Saturday, I was at church, as usual, to attend the
youth service. While listened to the preacher, my phone got beeped. I opened my
phone to turn it off, while I saw that it was Firda who messaged me. I replied
to her, because first, she wasn’t the type who messaged me just to chit chat,
so the must be a reason, and second, I did want to ask her a quick question. My
quick question got answered, but the next reply got me stunned.
“Is Lesa getting married?”
I thought, ‘What the hell? What kind of joke is this?’
And suddenly I got another message. It was from Murti. And the
content was same: Lesa and her marriage.
While kept listening to the preacher, I messaged Murti. From
Murti, I knew that Lesa was indeed getting married that day. She knew it from Via,
because her boyfie, Hendry was there. With Valdi and Kholis, the other boys. The marriage was
in Bogor, at groom’s place. Yes, she was married to Deba. And after this, they
would keep quiet and be unreachable for a while.
Could you imagine what ran through my mind? I was frantic,
half stunned and half panicked. The girl I thought I’m closest with, was
getting married. How was she? Was she okay? Did she have any friend with her
now? Did she need me? Did that bastard hurt her? Did she fight with her
parents, her sisters?
It was really hard to keep calm while I felt that awful. All
I could do is tweeting that flamingo emoticon. Surprisingly, someone responded
to it quickly. Pras, my friend, asked what happened. For a second I thought to
tease him, but that thought was replaced instantly by my worry. The other
message came from Dian.
“Are you okay?”
When I read that message, I blanked. After thinking about
it, I could only say: dunno.
Right that time, I couldn’t take it anymore. My tears were
coming down silently. I had to storm out from the church before anyone noticed
it. And outside, my tears streamed unstoppably.
That was total disaster. When Sari called me, I couldn’t say
anything properly because I cried. The worse thing, my church mates realized it
and asked me about it like, a lot. That was total embarrassing, yet I couldn’t
stop it. Even when I was already at home, tears kept coming down. Until that
info came. That flamingo info from Murti.
“Santo came.”
FUCK! Sorry, but Santo came? Santo came? Santo came? SANTO
CAME? ?!?
Just so you know, I tried to not use the real ‘f’ word. I prefer
said flamingo, because there really was no event worth of me saying out the
real ‘f’ word.
Until that moment.
I called Murti directly, swearing out loudly. Instantly, my
worries and sadness buried under new emotion: rage. Did she invite him and not
invite me? And why didn’t she tell me that she was getting married? What the
hell did she think of me anyway? Did she not consider me as her close friend?
Why the hell should I hear such news from another friend? Why the hell did she
say nothing? Why the hell could he come while I couldn’t?????????????
Later that night, I, Sari and Murti chatted in conference. We
talked to each other, trying to figure out why Lesa said nothing, what actually
happened and what she thought. Sari was furious, Okti was trying to be neutral,
while I was still upset over Santo’s incident. But that time, I realized
something.
I am her friend. She is my friend.
I choose to not believe them, I choose to believe her. She didn’t
tell me anything, so that didn’t happen. When she tells me, then I’ll believe. And
I will listen to her, trust her explanation, and support her all the way. And
while those are important, the most important thing is she is awesomely okay.
Why?
Because we are free end.
Yes, we were, we are, and we will be.
We are friend.
